You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
