Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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