If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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