I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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