Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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