im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I had to cum in my sink.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
