She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
