I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
