ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
