I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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