that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Four minutes until I can fart!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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