no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
