On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
