Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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