i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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