A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
