So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
