Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
