you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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