WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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