Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Holy sore nipples Batman
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
