K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
