You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I smell stomach acid.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
