butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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