I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize