sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
