he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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