I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
