it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
