Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize