Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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