When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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