I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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