Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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