I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
