In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
