don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
