is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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