I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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