Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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