the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
