I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize