i always forget guys have bellybuttons
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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