Porn is love you can see.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize