Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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