just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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