well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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