I wish I could teleport
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
