Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
