Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There r osticjed everywhere
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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