Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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