sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
