I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
