i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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