Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
