Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
