called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
