I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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